Life

Hi again…

Oh well well it’s been too long.

So where do I start?

Hmmmm.. Ok I think I know..

So, I kicked off 2019 with a resolution: limiting my social media activity (Instagram). I challenged myself. It was hard, to be honest. Scrolling on social media was like a habit to me that eventually becomes an addiction. I was shocked shocked that my iPhone stats reported that I spent 8 hours (everyday) on the phone and I can confirm that at least half of those times was spent on Instagram only. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s a very good platform. I also have a business that’s very Instagram-driven. We started as a small business on Instagram so needless to say it’s helped our business grow. Personally, it has connected me with a lot of friends. I’m happy that I can still keep in touch with some old friends and those whom I can’t meet everyday. I also meet some great new friends through Instagram and I really love that.

My first born, Abigail, one day sat next to me as I was scrolling down the Instagram. She was there for a while and suddenly said

“Mama, why are you always checking people’s life on Instagram and why you always want to share everything on Instagram?”

I was slapped. This kid, you know. She’s witty like that. I hate it sometimes (well, many times haha!). But let’s be fair, she’s right. So I put down my phone but that didn’t really stop me.

Until I reached the point that I felt unhealthy. It got very toxic to me because I started comparing myself with some friends. I start comparing everything I have with theirs. I got nosey with people’s life. I started scrutinising their life, which was certainly none of my business. Yes, I was a stalker (haha!). I wanted to know what’s going on in their life. Sometimes I pitied what’s happening to them, I judged their decisions, or merely gave unessential comments over something. There are also times, I want their life. They are prettier, cooler, happier, etc etc. “Envy” is too harsh a word that could describe. I’m embarrassed to admit that I actually do envy (many times). And the bad news is, it affects my mood in real life, too. I got competitive sometimes. “Comparison is the thief of joy” is indeed true. When I was done comparing myself and feeling either inferior or superior, I started making justification, which later I knew from my husband that justification is just another form comparison. The deceiving kind of comparison. Haha!

I want to start new year with a new me, a healthier me, a happier me, a more loving-me. I wanted to practice generosity and positive mind. I don’t want to destroy myself with negativity. Most of all, I want to be more present, with my children, my husband, and myself. I want to make time for what really matters.

What I did at first was just limiting my time on Instagram, 1 hour each day max. I didn’t post as much and as often as I did last year. The impact was quite good, actually. I could get things done faster (haha!). I also dug through piles of my long-abandoned books and actually finish reading some of them. Both Abigail and Benaya are happier (or so I hope) because no camera following them as often (I am a mamarazzi just so you know) and they don’t get to hear me saying “wait a minute I need to post this on Instagram first. I’ll come right away after this” all the time as I was checking videos of photos of them and thinking for the best captions. It wasn’t easy slowing down from Instagram, it takes practice and commitment. And finally I can say that it was liberating… And the good news is (or bad news?) the Instagram app stop working on my phone since two weeks ago. So initially, there was some problem with my phone’s memory. I deleted some apps (including Instagram) and couldn’t seem to download the app again. Maybe it’s a sign that I have to take this Instagram-free life to another level. Of course I can always check in my account on my husband’s phone but I hesitated. We’ll see if I can survive.

Fingers crossed! Also, I hope this also means I can write more here. Oh I miss writing a long post like this one and it actually feels good.

Life

My son Benaya

Benaya my second born. He’s 10.5 months now, time flies just like that. This time last year I was in my third trimester and very very pregnant. I remembered every single detail of this pregnancy. With him, my morning sickness was really bad, it didn’t stop until I was 20 weeks along. Just like first pregnancy, I didn’t really have food cravings. But because the nausea was very very bad, the only food that was okay during the first trimester was spinach soup. So I remember I ate spinach food every single day. It’s not that I really like spinach soup but that’s the only food that he approved. It got better after 20 weeks when my normal taste bud was back in function. He was one little kicker and he liked to wake me up every day at 3-4 am with those strong little kicks jumps and rolls inside the womb. Second pregnancy is more challenging physically. I got tired very easily and joints-pain here and there. I had some kind of pelvic problems that made it so difficult for me to get up every morning, but I was so unstoppable. Benaya liked when her mama moved around, went here and there, did a lot of things. I was craving for more and more DIY ideas that time around. Aside from designing stuff for Linoluna, I managed to make some crocheted stuff (blankets, baby beanies, baby onesies, cushion, bunting, etc), nursery mobile, and even tried my luck on baking. I remembered my baby bump was very very big and laying low. Everyone thought I was carrying twins. I also remembered those times I was really really worried when my third trimester blood-test came with not-so-good result that I had some bacteria infections. I was so scared and phoned my doctor crying. Turned out the result was not accurate. I took blood-test again and no infection and I cried again, happy cry this time (I cry a lot during both pregnancies, blame the hormones, haha.) He would kick and dance inside when I was singing, also when Abigail and papa tried to make conversation with him. My skin was at its best when I was pregnant with him although I didn’t do anything much to it.

Now he’s almost 11 months and will turn 1 year old in a blink of an eye. He’s so smiley and bubbly. He’s the loudest and funniest in the family, also the most outgoing. He likes tickle game a lot. And when he laughs, it cracks the whole room. He likes to explore, he’s so restless and unstoppable. He’s always on the move. Mama is his favourite person like no one else and currently, he wouldn’t let me be out of his sight. And the way he looks at me always melts my heart. He loves when I’m singing. He takes every conversation seriously. His eyes would shine so bright every time we talk to him. Mama loves you Benaya. We all love you!

Life

Throwback Melbourne Trip 2016

As I was looking through pics on our long-abandoned camera, I just realised that I haven’t posted anything about our Melbourne trip last 2016. So here are some pics. We went there with my brother so we were able to snap some pictures of us three while we were there.

Most of the pics were taken with iPhone because DSLR is not the easiest to take around (especially when we’re going with toddler), while iPhone comes in handy. But we managed to snap a few nice pictures with DSLR, too.

We love Melbourne so much. My husband especially loved it for the tons of design-store inspiration. Well, to be honest one of the reasons we picked Melbourne was because we wanted to do some research for our store. And so glad we did! We learned a lot and got tons of ideas for our store. I also love the art and design there; playful, vibrant and was of strong character. We enjoyed hopping from one small shop to another and gathered all the inspiration we could get. The culinary also didn’t disappoint, and oh the coffee is really really good! As we all know, Melbourne is famous for the coffee culture.

However, this holiday was mainly for Abigail (as for any holiday haha). She had a lot of fun. Everyday before we started the day, we went to the park that’s just within 2 mins walking distance from our apartment. She enjoyed every trips to the park, playgrounds, toy-shops, museums, etc. And her experience in the State Library of Victoria was probably the most memorable to her. Well, of course there are some meltdowns in between (especially when she was hungry or sleepy) which was not fun at all while it happened haha. She is not the easiest to deal with when she gets cranky, I tell you. It took a lot of negotiations until we could finally find win-win solution, a lot of thinking and ideas from us parents. Sometimes I also had meltdowns, haha. However, all the bad times was forgotten eventually. When we were back home, we asked her whether she was happy with the trip, and it was a relief that she said she was so happy. Holiday is always a good time to bond with the family.

I miss holiday so much. Last year we didn’t travel anywhere because one of many things, mostly because I was not that brave to take Benaya on holiday. He is much more mobile than Abigail. Car journey frustrates him a lot when he’s awake, very contrary to Abigail who really enjoys car journey. So I couldn’t imagine the frustration taking him on a flight journey. We still have no fix holiday plan this year but Abigail has been asking for holiday this time soon. Well, this mama right here badly needs one, too. So, fingers crossed I will brave it, fingers crossed we will all brave it. And of course, as anxious as I am for our party-of-four-holiday, I won’t lie that I’m also in full excitement. Any idea where to go?

Life

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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It’s not very late to wish you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, isn’t it?! I just got time to write here, so anyway..

We’re very grateful for what 2015 had for us. It was quite a ride to be honest, not all rainbows and butterflies but we’re thankful for the ups and downs, simply for everything. Well yes, Linoluna’s brick and mortar store was the highlight of 2015 for us. However, there’s something more that we were actually thankful for. It’s our faith in God. Last year God taught us the hard way about letting go our own ego, about surrendering, and being present. It’s not easy if not impossible. God has been good through all the things, our faith is strengthened. Our way of seeing things is changed, for the better.

I don’t know what God has for us this year and next years, but we want to feel Him more, listen to Him more, and connect to Him more. Whatever the future will offer, we are not alone. Whether we’re facing good or bad times, the Lord is with us. Well yes, there are some goals or dreams or whatever you name them that we want to achieve this year but we hope we make decisions that align with His will.

God bless us all! Happy New Year!

Life

Birthday celebration at school

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Abigail had a blast birthday with her small group friends at school. She liked the singing part and blowing the candles. As per her request, we had two rounds of singing Happy Birthday, blowing candles and slicing the cakes. Haha. That little girl of mine. It was her special day and she was really happy, so mission accomplished!